When you’re the only one left smoking – What are you missing out on?
With Christmas just around the corner, I’m thinking of my own personal memories of social gatherings and my loved ones. My grandfather was a smoker, and while I don’t remember exactly when he quit, I do remember he did quit for health reasons. I come from a large family and Christmas was a big event like it is for most people. Even in the early 90’s my family members who smoked did so away from the kids. But I do remember them not being as present. Rather than playing a card game with us, they would be outside having a smoko. When they would return inside it would be with the strong presence of cigarette smoke, a barrier for many of us kids to want to get close to them.
While this is my own personal experience, I’m sure this is the lived experience of families everywhere. So, I wonder do our loved ones know they are missed, that we associate them with being absent, or that we associate them with smoke. We miss the gift of their presence, not only at Christmas but at other times of the year.
I wonder too if they might consider it a gift to their family members to quit. I know I would forego a material present to have my loved ones be more present and also to have them be healthier and in my life much longer.
I’m guessing too that with more and more people quitting, being a smoker is becoming more and more lonely an experience. Sometimes it’s good to have an excuse to get away from some family members at Christmas though, but let’s find a healthier way. Uncle John, may drink too much, and Aunt Mary may complain that there are too many salads and not enough meat dishes, but maybe you don’t have to be the aunt or uncle who smells funny this Christmas. Maybe you can just be the aunt or uncle who brings the awesome trifle.
This may get a little morbid but one thing you don’t want to be is the family member who is in hospital with lung cancer next Christmas. I wish I had more Christmases with my Uncle who died from smoking-caused throat cancer 6 years ago. I wish I’d known ways to help him then.
You are missed – dear smoking relatives – we’d like you in our lives more and longer.